When You Don’t See Eye-to-Eye with Your Mother-in-Law

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What to do when When You Don’t See Eye-to-Eye with Your Mother-in-Law?

I feel blessed to have family that I love spending time with, but not everyone can say that.  

Last week I found a message on our Facebook Page that asked for advice on an overbearing mother in law.

She went on to say, “She’s always criticizing what I do with or to my children, and also how I do my housework. She helps with babysitting and I live with her in a large house with a huge yard that my kids love. I am grateful, but I need help on how to politely tell her to please let me raise them.”

mother in law and I don't see eye to eye

When You Don’t See Eye-to-Eye with Your Mother-in-Law

We asked the (amazing) readers on our Facebook page and they offered great advice:

  • Thank her for her advice and leave it at that. Later, you can discuss it with your husband to see if you want to follow the advice or not.
  • Is there a similar interest you share? Take the time to connect over something other than the kids and your spouse, and you may see your relationship grow.
  • Many moms and mother-in-laws are going to offer the advice, without even really thinking of it. Take it with a grain of salt and move forward.
  • Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. Calmly responding, “Thank you, I know I may do things differently, and I will make mistakes, but please support and encourage me along the way.” She may not even realize the effect her words are having.
  • If there is a topic your mother in law could teach you about, ask her to teach you. She may then focus on that and forget about the other things.
  • Decide what your values as a family will be and be firm with it. Your family may not agree, and that is okay.
  • Focus on the positive. Instead of complaining about your mother-in-law, look for what is good about her. The more you focus on the positive, the less the negative will fill you.
  • There will be differences. When we adjust our expectations and realize we combining two different families, the little bumps that happen are not so shocking.
  • Remember she is your spouse’s mom. Do you want to tarnish the relationship forever? You do not have to be best friends, but you can be civil.
  • Always choose grace. At the end of the day, many times we are getting upset over little things. It is usually best when we give some grace and react with love.

What tips would you add? Find more helpful tips on our Facebook page!

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